영어독해

[스크랩] Hey everybody!

신문기자 2009. 1. 19. 00:56

 

Hey everybody!

I don't think I have an actual social phobia that could be 'diagnosed', just shyness and a fear of people. But here's a little history...hope I don't bore you. XD

I've always been a shy person. When I was a kid, maybe not so much, but then I started to grow up and actually notice the people around me, start to think about what they thought of me, I suppose. My family's said I've been good at making friends, but I've never thought it. I've always managed to have at least a few friends, but then the friends became less important after all the times we'd moved, because I knew we'd just move again and I'd lose them, so what's the point, you know?

The past couple years I've been doing online school, and it has really isolated me. I think it's made me more scared of people, since I'm just not around them as much. Also, this online school just isn't working for me, so I think I'm gonna go back to public school in the fall. And that's pretty terrifying. I've almost forgotten what public school is like. And then I remember. And all my memories are horrible. Presentations in front of the class, group projects, just being there with people seeing me and having to talk to people and look them in the eye. It was like this terrible chore, every single day. Almost torture. That's why I was so glad to do the online school. It was like an escape. But now the online school is a different kind of prison. And it's not working for me, so I just have to go back to public school. 

I know fall is far away, but I'm already kinda freaking out about it. We're gonna be moving probably next month, just about 45 minutes away, so we've kinda got our favorite area picked out and the school I'll most likely go to. It seems like a nice school. 

See, I've got mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I'm dreading it, but on the other hand I'm almost looking forward to it, to going back to public school with teachers and students and just... 'Cause like, with all the bad memories I have of school, there are also the good ones. And I know this will be a big step in my life, and that's exciting as much as it is terrifying.

Anyway, I was just wondering if you guys have any tips on how you get through school. I kinda wanna talk to my mom about possibly getting a prescription of Xanax, maybe just for a little while until I get used to school again. But besides that, I'm gonna need some other help. Just some mottos you say to yourself in the morning when you're getting ready, anything that could help with this fear. I guess it's just a fear of embarrassment. I went through this phase where I found it easier to look people in the eye, but I think it's gotten worse again. When people ask me questions or try to talk to me, my voice goes way quieter than it should (I'm actually really loud, when I want to be) and I barely say enough words to get them to understand me. It just sucks because I know I'm better than this, I know what I'm like when I'm actually comfortable with people. I know I can be really lively and friendly, but I just have this fear covering it. 

What I want the most is just to be able to get through a day of public school without any fear. Of anything. Of raising my hand, talking to someone, looking people in the eye. I'd love to be the nice girl, maybe the somewhat popular girl for once, instead of the sad-looking shy girl. I know it's all in me to change, but I could just really use some help and supportive mottos, I guess.

Thanks! :)

 

 

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I think it's important to remember that being shy is not something to be embarrassed about, or feel ashamed about. Many people beat themselves up over their shyness and anxiety, which just makes things worse.

One of the things that helps me is remembering to breath. I concentrate on taking slow, deeps breaths, and I try to focus on the present. Sometimes I have a tendency to start thinking about all the ways I could make a fool of myself in a given situation, and get so caught up in my fears, that the world around me seems to speed up... I lose focus. To avoid this, I try not only to breath slowly, but to slow down my thinking. I really focus on what's happening around me. If I'm talking to someone, I force myself to look them in the eye, and really listen to what they're saying, rather than just anxiously waiting for my turn to speak.

Just remember this... everyone gets a little nervous sometimes, even if they don't always show it. They're as worried about what you think of them, as you are about what they think of you. :)

What matters most is what you think of yourself. Relax, focus, and allow the real you to shine through. My guess is, most people will appreciate you for who you are. :)

 

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I don't really have any mottos or advice, really, just some simple empathy.

Almost everything that you wrote describes me. Looking people in the eye is one of my biggest fears. I'm not even sure why. I dont know if its because I don't want people to look at me, because I have some self concious problems, or if its more that I just think about it too much. When I'm looking someone in the eye, or doing other seemingly normal and regular things, I overthink it. I think "okay, I can look at them for about thirty seconds, then look away, then nod my head, etc." instead of just letting normal reactions come to me. My mind is my worst enemy. Because when I try to plan out how to do things, I become so overwhelmed with doing them wrong.

Honestly, I know this probably wont help, but just try not to even think about it. For me, my anxiety is way better when I simply don't think about it. Some people try to stay positive, but staying away from any train of thought involving anxiety makes me way calmer.

I wish you the best of luck, I know school can be a huge challenge for people like us, but I'm confident you'll do great <3

 

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I'm in public high school right now, 10th grade. So I know what you mean. :| But you have to remember that you shouldn't be ashamed of your shyness. You don't have to force yourself to try and be 'popular' or beat yourself up for not being popular. (Like what the person above me said.) I know it's awful when you wish you could be yourself around people instead of being visibly uncomfortable and quiet, always saying the wrong thing. You're right, it's like torture. You don't want to have to deal with trying to make good impressions on people. That's how it is for me, and what makes it worse is that I think I'm a great person when I'm with my close friends and family. I wish I could show people that side of me. But social anxiety is not an easy thing to overcome, you just have to spend your time trying to find out what matters to you so that you can be a stronger person.
I hope this helps! Remember you are most definetly not the only one going through crap. D: Haha.

 

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Hey,

well I commend you on deciding to "try" going back to real school as opposed to Online schooling.

I have gone through similar things... Feeling incredibly conflicted about whether I would be more suited to distance learning or going to an actual University...

You are right, that if you continue to go to Online Schooling there is a possibility that you'll get completely stuck in the rut of not being around people, socialising... Which could potentially make it WAY harder for you when you are forced out into the real world with people, etc...

But, it would be a lot more comfortable... e.g., not putting you outside of your comfort zone.

I still struggle with being around large groups of people, certain "types" of people at University... But all I can say is I've gotten better ("really slowly") than how I used to be. But I still struggle with things everyday... Still have certain routines that I need to follow, e.g., being one of the first people to enter the class and NOT being late... Having to enter the room when there are already heaps of people in there... That freaks me out, and if I get into that type of situation I tend to run away... Stupid, I know it's stupid... And I've never taken any medication.

 

 

bore / vt. 지루하게 하다, 따분하게 하다.

chore

dread / vt. 무서워하다. 두려워하다. 염려하다. 꺼리다.

lively

empathy / n{u}. 심리감정 이입

overthink

impression on

commend sb on / 칭찬하다.

conflicted / adj. 감정등이 상충된, 갈등이 있는

rut / n. 바퀴자국, 홈, 상투적인 방법, 상례

 

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